Wow, I can’t believe that it’s been so long since my last post! The end of summer break for my daughter has brought on a flurry of activity. Couple that with the start of an enormous project for my husband and I at work, then add all the activity on The Colon Club and it feels like the last couple of weeks managed to slip quitly by me as I tried to keep up with life’s challenges.
My daughter has always been very mature for her age, exhibiting understanding and compassion far beyond her years. That being said, the sweet and genuine innocence of a middle schooler remained with her at the K-8 Catholic school through graduation and the beginning of the summer. Suddenly within the last few weeks, it was almost like a switch was thrown and the child who once relied on her parents no longer needed us to hover quite so closely. She became an independent young lady, ready to embark on the experiences that high shool has to offer. Maybe this lovely young lady stepped out as Taylor left the last summer of her younger adolescent years behind to embrace the excitement of starting high school. Perhaps (eh, who am I kidding – the more likely explanation being) it is only in my mind and it was simply in the last few weeks that I was ready to see her as a high schooler. As she finished her summer reading and writing assignment, we had time for one last hurrah. In between chapters we went on a 2-day shopping spree, got her a mani/pedi, and even introduced her to the legacy of Chuck Norris (started because we were going to see the Expendables 2). It was a whole lot of fun on very little sleep.
This reprieve was much needed because it’s been a rough few weeks with my CRC (Colorectal Cancer) friends. My online CRC friends draw such a range of emotions from me because of the nature of the members of the club. Each person’s experiences with cancer and responses to therapies will be unique to that person, but they are threaded together by some commonalities. This is one of the reasons why statistics are a tricky area. Unfortunately when dealing with Stage IV cancer, the odds and stats are stacked against you. The loss of several wonderful people in the last few weeks – all within such a short time – has been a bit crushing. There are others who have received bad news on their scans, there’s more news of some of our beloved members’ decline in health, and on and on. Most recently we lost a very dear friend to this disease. I found out while I was in the office and fortunately I work with my wonderful husband who ran interference for me until I could get beyond my breakdown and get myself out of the office. Bill’s passing triggered “survivor’s guilt” in many of us. We question why him and not us? Why do we get the gift of more time when he is taken so soon from his loved ones? He was such a great guy (Husband, Father, Scout Leader, funny, kind…the list keeps going). Some of the bad news is offset by the good news of clear scans, humorous posts, and stories of people just living life, but it doesn’t seem to make the bad stuff any less difficult to process. I’m sure I’ll have more to say about all this later, but right now I’m feeling rather emotionally distracted.
Dad and I had another great evening debating politics, which reminds me that I need to get back to putting those stories up on the blog. Sorry for going radio-silent on you for a couple of weeks. Life got in the way. Feels like there is so much catching up to do!