As I said before, I don’t remember much of the colonoscopy. Afterwards though…some things…well I guess they’re just unforgettable. I phased in and out of consciousness for a bit, and then I woke up to my husband sitting next to me. Why? This man is a stander. It didn’t yet occur to me that something was really wrong. Dr. Inappropriate had left it to Eddie to tell me that they had found a malignant tumor.
This is the closest I’ve ever been to having a drug high and it was seriously impeding my ability to express fully cognitive thoughts. I remember wondering where along the colon they found the cancer, but what came out was “where did they find it?” Without missing a beat Eddie smiled his patient and understanding smile and asked “Where did they look honey? If they found it in your breast I’d have to kill someone.” That set off a gale of laughter and we could hear that everything outside my curtained area came to a complete halt. You see – I was the only one who, up until then, had no idea that I had just been diagnosed with cancer. They were all wondering what we could possibly be laughing about since I’d just been basically told that our lives would forever be changed.
Once Dr. Inappropriate informed us that it was pretty much a formality, we had a week to wait for the biopsy to come back to confirm the pathology. It was then that he decided that it would be a good time to tell us that we would definitely experience various emotional stages as we process this. Eddie’s response was “Hey doc, could you just not go through the 5 stages of death right now? Oh and by the way, since you made me tell my wife that she has cancer, does that mean I’ll be getting my $100 copay back now?” Exit Dr. Inappropriate.
“If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.” ~ Groucho Marx
This pretty much sums up how we have approached our relationship – dealing with cancer was/is no exception. It was an emotionally charged week as we tried to fully digest the results. As we drove through town, I looked over to my left at a red light and marveled at the oddity of several men casting fly fishing lines in the middle of an empty lot. I turned through the intersection and observed that on the corner was a tackle and bait shop and we absolutely lost it! We laughed so hard that we were crying and I nearly had to pull over to recompose myself. It was most definitely the tension breaker we both desperately needed. I realize that it was one of those “you had to be there” moments, but we both still look back occasionally and chuckle at the absurdity of it.